Nut Job Mom

I have a student. Actually, I have 140 students on a daily basis, but this one particular student is a Nut Job. I can't even blog about her because I'm afraid I'll lose my job, but please believe me when I say she is a Nut Job. Words can't even describe this girl.

And to make matters worse, she is also a lacrosse player and I am her coach. Every day, for hours, I must deal with her, and I really should win an award for keeping my cool.

But this blog is about her mother. Team Mom. Nut Job number one. (In the battle of nature versus nurture, I truly believe nurture wins every time I meet the parents of a crazy student. Like father, like son. Like mother, like daughter).

I get about 5-10 text PER DAY from Nut Job Mom. No joke. And the texts are so poorly worded and punctuated, that it takes every muscle in my brain to figure out what she's trying to say. She often tells me the same thing two or three days in a row.

When I was in NE for my grandpa's funeral, she texted me and the entire team at 1:30 AM. Yep, in the middle of the night. It was the same morning my grandfather died, so when I got the text, I thought it was my mom sending a message that grandpa had passed away. So imagine my heart rate and speed at reaching for the phone.

It was Nut Job Mom, though, and the text said that our Lacrosse game the following day was over an hour away near Colorado Springs and to make sure to leave at least two hours in advance.

THIS WAS ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE INFORMATION. Our game was about 10 minutes away. Our game was at Thunder Ridge High School. She was sending the entire team to Palmer Ridge High School. One word makes a big difference.

There was nothing I could do about it in the middle of the night, and it took me at least an hour to fall back to sleep. At 4:30 AM, I got the phone call that my grandpa had passed away.

That morning, I texted Nut Job Mom and said, "The text you sent in the middle of the night has wrong information. You need to fix this immediately." I then texted my entire team to tell them not to listen to text messages from Nut Job Mom. I received several phone calls from parents, who had also gotten the text, to confirm where the game really was. And I was dealing with this while I was mourning the loss of my grandpa. I was furious at Nut Job Mom.

She eventually texted and said she was sorry for the mistake. It was Mapquest's fault for sending her to Palmer Ridge instead of Thunder Ridge. Riiiightt....

Two nights ago, I received a text from Nut Job Mom at 11:30 PM. It was to inform me, for the third time (not even joking), that her Nut Job Daughter wasn't going to make practice because she was getting her teeth pulled. She also wanted to know what time practice was this week.

(Practice has been from 3:30-5 every single day for the past month. Nothing has changed. Practice will continue to be 3:30-5 until the end of the season).

Once again, I was awakened by her texts, and I had a hard time going back to sleep. I was furious. (I go to bed at 10 PM and wake at 5 AM. Please do not text me after 9:30).

The following morning, I sent her this text: The practice schedule has not changed. Now until the end of the season, we will practice from 3:30-5. The girls all know. I wanted to ask if you could please not text me after 9:30. I wake up at 5 AM, and I have a hard time going back to sleep when you text me at 11:30 PM and 1:30 AM. Thanks for this consideration.

I haven't heard a peep from her since.

Nut Job Daughter said to me yesterday, "My mom has some questions she wanted me to ask you...."

At least I only have to deal with one Nut Job now.