It Oozes Out Of Me

I never played sports in high school.

Shocker, I know. I mean, one look at me and the athleticism just oozes out of me, right?

I've come to realize God had a little fun when creating me.

When making Shannon, God thought, "I'll add some beautiful red CURLY hair, long, slender legs, and a small frame. She'll be good at basketball and running."

When making Collin, God thought, "I'll make him with long legs, he'll be fit and trim, and his six-pack will be evident. He'll be good at jumping, running, bike riding, football, basketball, and basically anything he attempts."

When making Shiloh, God thought, "I'll make her with short, stumpy legs, straight as a nail hair with no body or life and hair as thin as can be, she'll be plumb, and she'll have fat knees. She'll be good at.....well, nothing athletic but I'll give her the talent of writing, acting, and singing."

The thing that always deterred me away from sports was the whole running aspect. I can't run more than a block without wheezing and people staring to see if I'm OK. It's just not in me. Every sport involves running, so I just never went out for a sport.

The comedy (or irony, if you will) continues when I decided to coach Lacrosse.

"Those who can't do, teach."

I can't play LAX. I don't know how to throw a ball. I don't know how to cradle. I don't know the rules of the game. I can't run the length of the field, let alone back and forth, back and forth for a full 45 minute game. In fact, I've never even heard of the sport.

That was three years ago. Now I'm a seasoned pro, I like to think.

I still can't play LAX. But I do know how to throw a ball (kind of). I do know how to cradle. I do know the rules of the game. I still can't run the length of the field, but I do walk while my girls run. I've not only heard of the sport, but I am an undefeated coach this season.

Practice makes perfect, right?

This is my third season as a LAX coach, and I am really enjoying the sport. I've learned so much over the past three years, and I can even answer questions about rules and form! I know when to put in a sub, I know when to call a time out, I can spot fouls on the field, and I can read hand signals from the refs.

So, I'm not athletic. I can't play sports. I can't run. I'm short and stumpy. But man, can I learn a mean game of LAX.

The coach gets all the credit for a 5-0 season, right? See, I am athletic after all!