I've officially been back at Chatfield for a week now. The students start tomorrow on a modified schedule, but this past week has been full of meetings, classroom prep, planning and socializing. I love the atmosphere of the school. We are not monitored by anyone, so people come and go as they please. It's a nice break from the stressful environment of Enterprise.
On my first day last week, I was given a key to room D115 and told, "Here is your classroom key." I ventured off to check it out, excited to start decorating. Over the past week, I've made my classroom my own. It's fabulous. Shan and Jeff got me a GC to a teacher store for my graduation present, so I've had fun shopping and buying cool stuff for my room.
I finally completed my room yesterday. I was so proud of it and excited to meet my kiddos. A teacher came into my room and said, "I was just checking out my room for Fifth Hour." I looked at her and said, "I actually have a Fifth Hour class that I teach in here. I think you might have the wrong room." Both confused, she showed me how to print off my schedule.
Horrified, I discovered that I only teach one class in "my" classroom and for the other six classes, I am traveling to other classrooms. To make a really long story short, I went to my mentor, who went to the AP (Assistant Principal), who told us to talk to the lady who is teaching in my classroom for four different classes during the day. The AP said he didn't mind if she and I switched as long as it was ok with her.
I went to Susan to request this favor. She basically said I was a first year teacher and I couldn't possibly expect to have my own classroom, did I? And, the room I'm supposed to be in for three of my classes is dirty and smelly, and she doesn't want to teach in that room. And, who gave me a key to D115? I wasn't supposed to have a key, so she couldn't understand why I was given a key to that room. And, who told me that was my classroom? And, the reason she was in D115 for this creative writing class was because it was supposed to be a non-decorated room so the students could write creatively without being distracted by posters and things on the wall.
Politely, but also seething, I explained to her that the AP had given me a key to the room. That I had already decorated the room. That I had filled the room with all my "stuff" and now if it wasn't going to be my room, I was going to have to pack everything up or lock it up so it wouldn't get stolen, and I just couldn't understand why she couldn't just switch rooms with me since I had already made this classroom my own.
She said she would think about it and get back to me today.
I hardly slept last night, tossing and turning and thinking about traveling to three different classrooms. You don't fully understand the horror of this situation unless you're an actual teacher, but I have only 140 students, so that means I will be carting around 140 text books, 140 books, and any other materials I will need for that day EVERY SINGLE HOUR OF EVERY SINGLE DAY. As if being a first year teacher wasn't hard enough, now I have to teach out of three different classrooms.
I waited patiently today to hear from Susan, and around 2pm I received an email (yes, she couldn't even come talk to me face to face) that said she thought about it and it just didn't make sense to switch rooms, and basically (in not so many words), that I'd have to deal with it.
The AP found me as I was leaving the school to ask if Susan had agreed to my request. I told him no. He was pretty upset about it, and felt really bad. I told him I wasn't trying to be a whiner about it, and I would do whatever I needed to do to make things work. I understand that I am a first year teacher and low woman on the totem pole, and I also explained that it would have been a totally different story if I had been informed from the beginning that it wasn't my classroom, but that was never explained to me.
He said he's going to talk to Susan tomorrow, but I'm not expecting her to fold. Looks like I'll be packing up my room tomorrow, and I'll be a traveling teacher.
This blows.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
The Shi-Loh Down Week 1
The Shi-Loh Down
Welcome to the first edition of my new weekly column, The Shi-Loh Down. Thanks to Aunt Lisa for coming up with the title. My friend, Rob (different Rob than I'm going to talk about below), also came up with some very clever names (I would expect nothing less from him): "Man Hunt," "Boy Toys," "Four Chicks and 20 Guys," "Huntin' Honey," or "Kiss and Tell." I was torn between The Shi-Loh Down and Kiss and Tell, but I liked the play on words with my name (seeing as how I'm an English teacher, I like the pun).
I am happy to announce that this week will not disappoint. It is full of new acquaintances, lots of drama and a possible date in the near future.
Let me first begin with my new "friends."
Dennis: I met Dennis at Induction, which is something all first year teachers have to go through to get a permanent license. Dennis is a brand new teacher to Chatfield (Social Studies), so I'll see him often. He's a very good looking Italian guy: olive colored skin, dark hair, dark eyes, a soft wave to his hair. He has an accent from Boston even though he's a CO native, and he is one of the most personable guys I've ever met. He's easy to talk to, he laughs easily and he makes people feel at ease in his presence. The ladies at school are very excited to have this new "eye candy" at school. I adore Dennis, but he's not someone I'll be dating. I'm not attracted to him that way, but I am confident we are going to be good friends.
Eric: I also met Eric this week at Chatfield. He's a new teacher (math), and I was immediately drawn to Eric from the get-go. He's a good looking guy, and his quiet demeanour had me intrigued. He didn't say much during our meetings, so as we filed out for lunch, I invited Dennis and Eric to ride with me to the restaurant since I know the area. At lunch, Eric started to open up a bit, and I discovered he taught at Golden High School for two years, and they had to cut his position this year, hence him coming to Chatfield. After lunch, Eric and I discovered our classrooms were side by side. This excited me even more, as I knew I'd be able to see him often. We sat by each other on our second day of training, and I realized he was very charming and funny. I was liking him more and more, and I was thinking he was on my list of guys to get to know. Friday afternoon, I stopped in his classroom to say hi. He was on the phone as I walked in and he was ending his conversation with, "I love you." As he hung up, he told me his wife was on her way to come visit his classroom. Married men should be required to wear a ring.
Friends it is!
Matt: This gentleman, while very good looking, gets the award for least amount of personality in the world. He's also a new teacher at Chatfield, so as I walked into our first meeting Tuesday, I was excited to see Dennis, Eric and Matt, all sitting side by side. Three very good looking men right in a row! I quickly discovered Matt has no personality whatsoever. He hasn't spoken to anyone, he sits with him arms crossed, and he has a nasty scowl on his face at all times. I'm not even sure if Matt will make it into the friends pile.
Mike, Trent, and Jerome: I really know nothing about these guys other than I made friends with them Saturday night. I was dancing it up at the Grizzly Rose, and these three men entered into my life for a brief moment. I don't know where they work, what they do or who they are, so I'm not sure if they qualify for my experiment as my rules state, but nonetheless, I introduced myself and chatted it up a bit.
Beau: Now this is an interesting story. Beau works for Enterprise Rent A Car, so I've actually talked to him several times throughout this summer, but we've never met face to face. I've heard people talk about Beau. They said he's very energetic, outgoing, personable and fun, and I could tell he was all those things just through talking to him on the phone. He worked at a branch down the road, so he was often calling to trade cars, etc. I remember the first time I talked to Beau. He was trying to call a certain branch, but when that branch doesn't answer within five rings, it flips to ringing at another office. I happened to be at the second office, and Beau was trying to reach the first office. I answered, and Beau asked for Kole. I told him Kole was working at the other office and that the phones must have flipped. He said he would try again. Once again, the phones flipped to me, so I answered again. He goes, "Now Shiloh, I don't believe in signs, but fate must be trying to tell us that we should talk. I'm going to call again and try to get Kole, but if you answer a third time, I'm going to have to ask you out on a date." I laughed and told him it was a deal. Kole must have answered the third time around because I didn't hear from Beau again that day. On another particular day, Beau called asking if he could have our SUV. I put Beau on hold to ask the manager, and she told me to tell Beau we had a customer coming in for the SUV (even though we didn't). I told Beau this lie, and he called me out on it. He said, "Shiloh , I know you're lying to me. I'm going to forgive you this time, but I expect it never to happen again."
So last night, I was meeting my friend Brandi at a restaurant. Brandi and I were going to go the Grizzly Rose. She asked if she could invite some friends, and I told her I would pick them all up at 8pm. I entered the restaurant, and I saw Brandi sitting with a cute guy. I approached and introduced myself. The guy looked at me and said, "You're Shiloh? Shiloh from Enterprise? The infamous Shiloh?" I had no idea who this guy was, and I was a little thrown off that he knew me. Come to find out, this was Beau. We finally met face to face. He told me he actually thought I was Asian based off my name, and he had me pictured as a short, little Asian girl with brown hair and brown eyes. He said, "I have to admit, I'm a little thrown off. I wasn't expecting a blond hair, blue eyed, beautiful lady." He's quite the charmer, isn't he? We clicked right away. He IS very charming, very personable, very fun, just like everyone said. We had a very enjoyable night together, and he kept saying he wanted to take me on a date so he could get to know me. I drove him and Brandi home after we were done dancing, and as I dropped him off at his door, he wanted to give me his number. I didn't want to be the one who had to call him, so I told him he could get my number from Brandi if he really wanted to take me on a date. I'll let you know if he follows through.
__________________________________________
When I was thinking about doing this social experiment, I figured I'd meet a few guys, have a little fun and that would be it. Possibly I'd find a great guy, which would be amazing, but at the very least, I would have some new friends. What I didn't realize is that I'd learn a little bit about myself along the way. Perhaps that seems obvious to some of you, but after a little bit of drama last night, which I'll share in a moment, I realized some things about who I am and what I want.
I understand that this is only week one of my game and that I have a lot to learn over the upcoming weeks. I promise to you and to myself that I am going to be completely honest with my thoughts, emotions, and questions through this process. Perhaps some of you will think I'm being too transparent and that my blog isn't the place to share some of my thoughts, but in order to be fair to myself and this process, I feel that I need to be open.
Here's the drama that I promised I'd write about: To make a really long story short, I have been dating/hanging out with a guy since January. We've had a bumpy road at times, but we've also had a lot of fun moments, too. What's been interesting, and what I saw last night, is that I was going against all the advice I've ever given to other girlfriends while with Rob. There's an old addage that states that if a guy wants to be with a girl, he will do everything in his power to make it work. Well, Rob wasn't doing that with me. He was making excuses as to why we couldn't be together, why we couldn't date, why we should only be friends, etc. I allowed him to walk all over me, and sadly enough, he always made me look like the drama filled girl and the one always in the wrong. I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I think I'm a pretty fabulous catch. I have a lot to offer, but Rob just wasn't seeing that. He was only seeing what he wanted to see.
Last night at the Grizzly Rose, Rob was there, too. I most certainly didn't expect to hit it off with Beau in the way that we did, and I'm not the type of girl who would try to make Rob jealous by hanging out with Beau instead. But Rob made the mistake of telling me he's been hanging out with another girl. He proceeded to tell me her name, her occupation, where they met, etc. This pushed me over the edge with him. I had finally had enough. I was through with him taking advantage of me, using me and then not caring how I felt. I walked away from him last night vowing to never talk to him again. I tried to erase him from my mind and enjoy myself, so I spent the rest of the evening with Kari, Brandi, and Beau. I left without saying goodbye to Rob, and when he tried calling me a little later on, I didn't aswer the call. Then Rob texted and said, "Thanks for ignoring me. I will never understand you." When I didn't reply to that, he wrote, "The reason I don't date you is because of how you acted tonight. Goodbye Shiloh."
And there is the real Rob. The Rob who thinks it's ok to tell me about his other girlfriend and expect me to be ok with it. The Rob who thinks he can ignore me all night and it's ok, but when I ignore him, he throws a fit. The Rob who thinks he can walk all over me and I won't stick up for myself. Walking away last night was really tough, I'm not going to lie. I know it will get easier with time, and meeting all these new guys is going to help, too. But it's still hard to say goodbye to someone you care about.
So the lessons learned from week one are:
There are a tone of fabulous men out in this world, and when you catch the attention of one, he'll let you know he's interested.
Never settle for someone. Be with a guy who wants to be with you.
Walking away is really hard but it will only allow me to become a stronger person and make room for someone who actually wants to be a part of my life without all the excuses.
Not all married men wear rings.
Welcome to the first edition of my new weekly column, The Shi-Loh Down. Thanks to Aunt Lisa for coming up with the title. My friend, Rob (different Rob than I'm going to talk about below), also came up with some very clever names (I would expect nothing less from him): "Man Hunt," "Boy Toys," "Four Chicks and 20 Guys," "Huntin' Honey," or "Kiss and Tell." I was torn between The Shi-Loh Down and Kiss and Tell, but I liked the play on words with my name (seeing as how I'm an English teacher, I like the pun). I am happy to announce that this week will not disappoint. It is full of new acquaintances, lots of drama and a possible date in the near future.
Let me first begin with my new "friends."
Dennis: I met Dennis at Induction, which is something all first year teachers have to go through to get a permanent license. Dennis is a brand new teacher to Chatfield (Social Studies), so I'll see him often. He's a very good looking Italian guy: olive colored skin, dark hair, dark eyes, a soft wave to his hair. He has an accent from Boston even though he's a CO native, and he is one of the most personable guys I've ever met. He's easy to talk to, he laughs easily and he makes people feel at ease in his presence. The ladies at school are very excited to have this new "eye candy" at school. I adore Dennis, but he's not someone I'll be dating. I'm not attracted to him that way, but I am confident we are going to be good friends.
Eric: I also met Eric this week at Chatfield. He's a new teacher (math), and I was immediately drawn to Eric from the get-go. He's a good looking guy, and his quiet demeanour had me intrigued. He didn't say much during our meetings, so as we filed out for lunch, I invited Dennis and Eric to ride with me to the restaurant since I know the area. At lunch, Eric started to open up a bit, and I discovered he taught at Golden High School for two years, and they had to cut his position this year, hence him coming to Chatfield. After lunch, Eric and I discovered our classrooms were side by side. This excited me even more, as I knew I'd be able to see him often. We sat by each other on our second day of training, and I realized he was very charming and funny. I was liking him more and more, and I was thinking he was on my list of guys to get to know. Friday afternoon, I stopped in his classroom to say hi. He was on the phone as I walked in and he was ending his conversation with, "I love you." As he hung up, he told me his wife was on her way to come visit his classroom. Married men should be required to wear a ring.
Friends it is!
Matt: This gentleman, while very good looking, gets the award for least amount of personality in the world. He's also a new teacher at Chatfield, so as I walked into our first meeting Tuesday, I was excited to see Dennis, Eric and Matt, all sitting side by side. Three very good looking men right in a row! I quickly discovered Matt has no personality whatsoever. He hasn't spoken to anyone, he sits with him arms crossed, and he has a nasty scowl on his face at all times. I'm not even sure if Matt will make it into the friends pile.
Mike, Trent, and Jerome: I really know nothing about these guys other than I made friends with them Saturday night. I was dancing it up at the Grizzly Rose, and these three men entered into my life for a brief moment. I don't know where they work, what they do or who they are, so I'm not sure if they qualify for my experiment as my rules state, but nonetheless, I introduced myself and chatted it up a bit.
Beau: Now this is an interesting story. Beau works for Enterprise Rent A Car, so I've actually talked to him several times throughout this summer, but we've never met face to face. I've heard people talk about Beau. They said he's very energetic, outgoing, personable and fun, and I could tell he was all those things just through talking to him on the phone. He worked at a branch down the road, so he was often calling to trade cars, etc. I remember the first time I talked to Beau. He was trying to call a certain branch, but when that branch doesn't answer within five rings, it flips to ringing at another office. I happened to be at the second office, and Beau was trying to reach the first office. I answered, and Beau asked for Kole. I told him Kole was working at the other office and that the phones must have flipped. He said he would try again. Once again, the phones flipped to me, so I answered again. He goes, "Now Shiloh, I don't believe in signs, but fate must be trying to tell us that we should talk. I'm going to call again and try to get Kole, but if you answer a third time, I'm going to have to ask you out on a date." I laughed and told him it was a deal. Kole must have answered the third time around because I didn't hear from Beau again that day. On another particular day, Beau called asking if he could have our SUV. I put Beau on hold to ask the manager, and she told me to tell Beau we had a customer coming in for the SUV (even though we didn't). I told Beau this lie, and he called me out on it. He said, "Shiloh , I know you're lying to me. I'm going to forgive you this time, but I expect it never to happen again."
So last night, I was meeting my friend Brandi at a restaurant. Brandi and I were going to go the Grizzly Rose. She asked if she could invite some friends, and I told her I would pick them all up at 8pm. I entered the restaurant, and I saw Brandi sitting with a cute guy. I approached and introduced myself. The guy looked at me and said, "You're Shiloh? Shiloh from Enterprise? The infamous Shiloh?" I had no idea who this guy was, and I was a little thrown off that he knew me. Come to find out, this was Beau. We finally met face to face. He told me he actually thought I was Asian based off my name, and he had me pictured as a short, little Asian girl with brown hair and brown eyes. He said, "I have to admit, I'm a little thrown off. I wasn't expecting a blond hair, blue eyed, beautiful lady." He's quite the charmer, isn't he? We clicked right away. He IS very charming, very personable, very fun, just like everyone said. We had a very enjoyable night together, and he kept saying he wanted to take me on a date so he could get to know me. I drove him and Brandi home after we were done dancing, and as I dropped him off at his door, he wanted to give me his number. I didn't want to be the one who had to call him, so I told him he could get my number from Brandi if he really wanted to take me on a date. I'll let you know if he follows through.
__________________________________________
When I was thinking about doing this social experiment, I figured I'd meet a few guys, have a little fun and that would be it. Possibly I'd find a great guy, which would be amazing, but at the very least, I would have some new friends. What I didn't realize is that I'd learn a little bit about myself along the way. Perhaps that seems obvious to some of you, but after a little bit of drama last night, which I'll share in a moment, I realized some things about who I am and what I want.
I understand that this is only week one of my game and that I have a lot to learn over the upcoming weeks. I promise to you and to myself that I am going to be completely honest with my thoughts, emotions, and questions through this process. Perhaps some of you will think I'm being too transparent and that my blog isn't the place to share some of my thoughts, but in order to be fair to myself and this process, I feel that I need to be open.
Here's the drama that I promised I'd write about: To make a really long story short, I have been dating/hanging out with a guy since January. We've had a bumpy road at times, but we've also had a lot of fun moments, too. What's been interesting, and what I saw last night, is that I was going against all the advice I've ever given to other girlfriends while with Rob. There's an old addage that states that if a guy wants to be with a girl, he will do everything in his power to make it work. Well, Rob wasn't doing that with me. He was making excuses as to why we couldn't be together, why we couldn't date, why we should only be friends, etc. I allowed him to walk all over me, and sadly enough, he always made me look like the drama filled girl and the one always in the wrong. I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I think I'm a pretty fabulous catch. I have a lot to offer, but Rob just wasn't seeing that. He was only seeing what he wanted to see.
Last night at the Grizzly Rose, Rob was there, too. I most certainly didn't expect to hit it off with Beau in the way that we did, and I'm not the type of girl who would try to make Rob jealous by hanging out with Beau instead. But Rob made the mistake of telling me he's been hanging out with another girl. He proceeded to tell me her name, her occupation, where they met, etc. This pushed me over the edge with him. I had finally had enough. I was through with him taking advantage of me, using me and then not caring how I felt. I walked away from him last night vowing to never talk to him again. I tried to erase him from my mind and enjoy myself, so I spent the rest of the evening with Kari, Brandi, and Beau. I left without saying goodbye to Rob, and when he tried calling me a little later on, I didn't aswer the call. Then Rob texted and said, "Thanks for ignoring me. I will never understand you." When I didn't reply to that, he wrote, "The reason I don't date you is because of how you acted tonight. Goodbye Shiloh."
And there is the real Rob. The Rob who thinks it's ok to tell me about his other girlfriend and expect me to be ok with it. The Rob who thinks he can ignore me all night and it's ok, but when I ignore him, he throws a fit. The Rob who thinks he can walk all over me and I won't stick up for myself. Walking away last night was really tough, I'm not going to lie. I know it will get easier with time, and meeting all these new guys is going to help, too. But it's still hard to say goodbye to someone you care about.
So the lessons learned from week one are:
There are a tone of fabulous men out in this world, and when you catch the attention of one, he'll let you know he's interested.
Never settle for someone. Be with a guy who wants to be with you.
Walking away is really hard but it will only allow me to become a stronger person and make room for someone who actually wants to be a part of my life without all the excuses.
Not all married men wear rings.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Experiment
As my most faithful followers know, the title of my blog is "Shi Town's Got It Goin' On."
But even I have to admit that sometimes I DON'T got it goin' on. Sometimes (probably more often than not), my life is pretty boring. Every once in a while, I drive away with the gas pump still connect to the car or I pass out in a tanning bed, but those things are just to add some excitement to your reading pleasure.
Inspired by a few friends, which I'll talk about in a minute, I have decided to add a weekly column to guarantee that "Shi Town's Got It Goin' On" for real.
My brain started ticking this past Monday when I hung out with my friends, Tiffany and Kelly. Tiffany is engaged and Kelly is married, but before they both found the love's of their life, they were single. DUH! They decided to go on the dating adventure together, so they first read a book called, How To Get a Date Worth Keeping, which walks a woman through the process of meeting tons and tons of new guys and eventually finding one worth keeping. They read the book and then decided to sign up for eHarmony, an online dating tool. They had many set rules in order to be successful, and it must have worked because Kelly eventually met and married a man she met online. Tiffany, on the other hand, met a guy through church and stopped eHarmony to pursue him. In her case, the book rules helped!
One of the "rules" in the book said that a girl must meet five new guys every week. She must keep a journal of her new acquaintances and note something she learned about the guy. This guy does not have to be someone she's attracted to (although that would help), but rather it's just a way for the girl to make new friends. The guy has to learn her name and enough information about her (where she works, email or phone number) for him to find her if he so desired. The girl must keep a diary of the men she meets with enough info about him for her to remember who he is.
I got to thinking this might be fun to try out. I emailed Kari the idea, and she encouraged me to make a blog column, come up with a witty title and share my experiences with you. At first I was hesistant to do this because I just don't know how entertaining it will be, but I'm going to do a test drive, if you will, and see how it works.
I've also involved two other friends to join in the experiment with me. Cindy and Abby H. have both agreed to meet five new guys a week, take notes and report back to all of us to keep each other accountable. Neither one of them have a blog, so you won't see their notes unless they agree to let me share them with you.
I, on the other hand, will post my findings every Monday. I hope you enjoy this weekly column, I hope I meet five guys a week, and even better, I hope I meet the man of my dreams during this experiment. If you have a witty title for my column, feel free to share. Maybe I'll use your idea.
But even I have to admit that sometimes I DON'T got it goin' on. Sometimes (probably more often than not), my life is pretty boring. Every once in a while, I drive away with the gas pump still connect to the car or I pass out in a tanning bed, but those things are just to add some excitement to your reading pleasure.
Inspired by a few friends, which I'll talk about in a minute, I have decided to add a weekly column to guarantee that "Shi Town's Got It Goin' On" for real.
My brain started ticking this past Monday when I hung out with my friends, Tiffany and Kelly. Tiffany is engaged and Kelly is married, but before they both found the love's of their life, they were single. DUH! They decided to go on the dating adventure together, so they first read a book called, How To Get a Date Worth Keeping, which walks a woman through the process of meeting tons and tons of new guys and eventually finding one worth keeping. They read the book and then decided to sign up for eHarmony, an online dating tool. They had many set rules in order to be successful, and it must have worked because Kelly eventually met and married a man she met online. Tiffany, on the other hand, met a guy through church and stopped eHarmony to pursue him. In her case, the book rules helped!
One of the "rules" in the book said that a girl must meet five new guys every week. She must keep a journal of her new acquaintances and note something she learned about the guy. This guy does not have to be someone she's attracted to (although that would help), but rather it's just a way for the girl to make new friends. The guy has to learn her name and enough information about her (where she works, email or phone number) for him to find her if he so desired. The girl must keep a diary of the men she meets with enough info about him for her to remember who he is.
I got to thinking this might be fun to try out. I emailed Kari the idea, and she encouraged me to make a blog column, come up with a witty title and share my experiences with you. At first I was hesistant to do this because I just don't know how entertaining it will be, but I'm going to do a test drive, if you will, and see how it works.
I've also involved two other friends to join in the experiment with me. Cindy and Abby H. have both agreed to meet five new guys a week, take notes and report back to all of us to keep each other accountable. Neither one of them have a blog, so you won't see their notes unless they agree to let me share them with you.
I, on the other hand, will post my findings every Monday. I hope you enjoy this weekly column, I hope I meet five guys a week, and even better, I hope I meet the man of my dreams during this experiment. If you have a witty title for my column, feel free to share. Maybe I'll use your idea.
Monday, August 10, 2009
More to Love
There's a new reality TV show that Kari got me hooked on. It's called More to Love, and it's basically like The Bachelor but with, shall we say, larger women than most reality shows allow (hence the title). There's one man, 20 women and they are all competing for the love of this guy. Each week, he decides who he wants to stay and who goes home. The women who are sent home end up in tears, and I worry about a few of them. But more on that to come.
I want to first address Luke, the lone man looking for "twru luv." I have to admit, I have a crush on him. I am actually contemplating trying to find his email address and sending him an email that goes something like this: "Luke, I know you're completely famous now that you've been on Fox TV, and I know that the success rate of these reality love shows is like 1/498, so you're probably not in the market looking for a fabulous, funny, outgoing, beautiful, witty girl with a little bit of attitude and a little bit of curve. BUT, if by chance you don't find the woman of your dreams on More to Love, then call me at 303-915-...."
I seriously am going to wait until the show is over and then find out if he's still with the woman he chooses. I honestly have a crush on a man I've never met. He's charming, he's sweet, he's good looking, he adores these women, and he likes them for them. He seems like a totally great guy.
When I'm not being swept away by Luke, I can't help but feel (sorry, saddened, sympathy) for these 20 women on the show. Most of these women are over 200 pounds, and they have severe issues that center around their weight. These women are beautiful women. They have great jobs, they are funny, they are caring, they have big hearts. BUT, they don't give themselves any credit because they are large. On the two episodes that have aired, these women make complete fools of themselves because they are so focused on their weight and the "I Never's." I've never been to prom because of my weight. I've never been kissed by a guy because of my weight. I've never had a boyfriend because of my weight. I've never dated a guy that's smaller than me. I've never been on a date because of my weight. And the list goes on and on.
I believe their "I Never's" have more to do with lack of confidence than how much they weight. Who wants to date a woman who verbally barfs her emotional issues on the first date?
What's even more embarrassing for these girls is that they tell all this to Luke after knowing him for less than an hour. They are so emotionally scarred that they are blubbering messes. They hate themselves, and they are so blinded by their weight that they can't see past that to who they really are.
I feel like I can relate to these women, so I don't want you to think I'm being insensitive. If you know me or my story at all, you know that I've lost a significant amount of weight over the years. I am 40 pounds smaller than I was four years ago, and I have a big goal of losing 50 more pounds. Through the years, I've had similar issues as these women. I hated myself. I hated my body. I hated men. I hated people who made fun of me. I hated clothes. I hated bathing suits. I hated life. I was just like these women.
But with or without losing the weight, I am a different person than I was several years ago, and the difference isn't because I'm a size 14 instead of the size 20 I used to be. The difference is because I have learned to like Shiloh. Actually, I love Shiloh. I love who I am. I know how to dress to make myself look good. I know who my friends are, and they love me for me. I know that not all men like a size 6. Some men do like a size 14 or 16 or 20. When push comes to shove, men are looking for a girl who loves herself, who has confidence in herself and who can take what she has been given and use it for the good of others, no matter if she weighs 120 pounds or 220 pounds.
I wish I could look each one of these young girls in the face and tell them that they are beautiful. If only they believed in themselves, then the men would come. Unfortunately, there are several girls who think that if Luke doesn't love them, then they are doomed to be single for the rest of their lives. That's so NOT true. If Luke doesn't love them, then that just means there is someone else out there for them. Luke isn't the only guy who loves a full figured woman.
Believe in yourself. Love yourself. Be confident in yourself. And love will find you, no matter how much you weigh.
Luke, don't forget to call me when your show is over. I know we'd make a great match!
I want to first address Luke, the lone man looking for "twru luv." I have to admit, I have a crush on him. I am actually contemplating trying to find his email address and sending him an email that goes something like this: "Luke, I know you're completely famous now that you've been on Fox TV, and I know that the success rate of these reality love shows is like 1/498, so you're probably not in the market looking for a fabulous, funny, outgoing, beautiful, witty girl with a little bit of attitude and a little bit of curve. BUT, if by chance you don't find the woman of your dreams on More to Love, then call me at 303-915-...."
I seriously am going to wait until the show is over and then find out if he's still with the woman he chooses. I honestly have a crush on a man I've never met. He's charming, he's sweet, he's good looking, he adores these women, and he likes them for them. He seems like a totally great guy.
When I'm not being swept away by Luke, I can't help but feel (sorry, saddened, sympathy) for these 20 women on the show. Most of these women are over 200 pounds, and they have severe issues that center around their weight. These women are beautiful women. They have great jobs, they are funny, they are caring, they have big hearts. BUT, they don't give themselves any credit because they are large. On the two episodes that have aired, these women make complete fools of themselves because they are so focused on their weight and the "I Never's." I've never been to prom because of my weight. I've never been kissed by a guy because of my weight. I've never had a boyfriend because of my weight. I've never dated a guy that's smaller than me. I've never been on a date because of my weight. And the list goes on and on.
I believe their "I Never's" have more to do with lack of confidence than how much they weight. Who wants to date a woman who verbally barfs her emotional issues on the first date?
What's even more embarrassing for these girls is that they tell all this to Luke after knowing him for less than an hour. They are so emotionally scarred that they are blubbering messes. They hate themselves, and they are so blinded by their weight that they can't see past that to who they really are.
I feel like I can relate to these women, so I don't want you to think I'm being insensitive. If you know me or my story at all, you know that I've lost a significant amount of weight over the years. I am 40 pounds smaller than I was four years ago, and I have a big goal of losing 50 more pounds. Through the years, I've had similar issues as these women. I hated myself. I hated my body. I hated men. I hated people who made fun of me. I hated clothes. I hated bathing suits. I hated life. I was just like these women.
But with or without losing the weight, I am a different person than I was several years ago, and the difference isn't because I'm a size 14 instead of the size 20 I used to be. The difference is because I have learned to like Shiloh. Actually, I love Shiloh. I love who I am. I know how to dress to make myself look good. I know who my friends are, and they love me for me. I know that not all men like a size 6. Some men do like a size 14 or 16 or 20. When push comes to shove, men are looking for a girl who loves herself, who has confidence in herself and who can take what she has been given and use it for the good of others, no matter if she weighs 120 pounds or 220 pounds.
I wish I could look each one of these young girls in the face and tell them that they are beautiful. If only they believed in themselves, then the men would come. Unfortunately, there are several girls who think that if Luke doesn't love them, then they are doomed to be single for the rest of their lives. That's so NOT true. If Luke doesn't love them, then that just means there is someone else out there for them. Luke isn't the only guy who loves a full figured woman.
Believe in yourself. Love yourself. Be confident in yourself. And love will find you, no matter how much you weigh.
Luke, don't forget to call me when your show is over. I know we'd make a great match!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Fab Five
Several weeks ago, The Fab Five (Irish, Katie, Michelle, April and me) went camping at Lake McConaughy in Ogallala. We had an absolute blast, and all we did was eat, drink and swim. Oh, we did play games around the campfire and have a little dance party until someone from the next tent over yelled at us and said, "Quiet time is from 10pm-6am." It is also rumored that two girls may or may not have taken off some clothes (not all their clothes, silly) and gone swimming at 1am.
Ahem.
Ahem.
No names shall be mentioned... 
It was SOOOOO windy on our second night of camping that we were certain all our food and gear was going to be gone when we awoke, but it was all there. This is us blowing away (in case you couldn't figure that out). Katie was taking a nap in the car.
In case you didn't notice, we all switched hats for this picture. 
This is Sawyer, Irish and Shawn's little guy. He spent a few hours with us playing in the water. 
There's nothing more special than spending time with my girls.
It was SOOOOO windy on our second night of camping that we were certain all our food and gear was going to be gone when we awoke, but it was all there. This is us blowing away (in case you couldn't figure that out). Katie was taking a nap in the car.
In case you didn't notice, we all switched hats for this picture. This is Sawyer, Irish and Shawn's little guy. He spent a few hours with us playing in the water. There's nothing more special than spending time with my girls. Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Girl's Night Out
Two weeks ago, some of the coolest girls in Denver (including me) went to a La Crosse game at the Mile High Stadium. We originally wanted to go to a Rockies game, but that was sold out, so we did the next best thing (or so we thought). While we had a great time together, the game was pretty lame and we ended up leaving during 3rd Quarter. Our mission: Pizza!
We ventured off in the rain to find a very specific pizza joint. Marc, from The Bachelorette, is from Denver and started his own pizza place. Kari had done her research and knew where to find him, I mean the pizza place. We found a parking space and walked through the rain only to find that Marc's pizza place is take out or delivery only. Strike one.
We ventured off in the rain to find a very specific pizza joint. Marc, from The Bachelorette, is from Denver and started his own pizza place. Kari had done her research and knew where to find him, I mean the pizza place. We found a parking space and walked through the rain only to find that Marc's pizza place is take out or delivery only. Strike one.Kari and I had recently eaten at another pizza place, so we got back in the car and drove to our second option. Once again, we parked, paid for the parking meter and ran through the rain only to find that this pizza place had over an hour wait. Strike two.
By this time, it was pouring. We finally found a third option for pizza. We parked, ran through the rain and YAY! It was a sit down place, there wasn't an hour wait, and they could seat us right away! We had girl time while we ate good pizza.
Nothing like a good Girl's Night Out!
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