More to Love

There's a new reality TV show that Kari got me hooked on. It's called More to Love, and it's basically like The Bachelor but with, shall we say, larger women than most reality shows allow (hence the title). There's one man, 20 women and they are all competing for the love of this guy. Each week, he decides who he wants to stay and who goes home. The women who are sent home end up in tears, and I worry about a few of them. But more on that to come.


I want to first address Luke, the lone man looking for "twru luv." I have to admit, I have a crush on him. I am actually contemplating trying to find his email address and sending him an email that goes something like this: "Luke, I know you're completely famous now that you've been on Fox TV, and I know that the success rate of these reality love shows is like 1/498, so you're probably not in the market looking for a fabulous, funny, outgoing, beautiful, witty girl with a little bit of attitude and a little bit of curve. BUT, if by chance you don't find the woman of your dreams on More to Love, then call me at 303-915-...."


I seriously am going to wait until the show is over and then find out if he's still with the woman he chooses. I honestly have a crush on a man I've never met. He's charming, he's sweet, he's good looking, he adores these women, and he likes them for them. He seems like a totally great guy.


When I'm not being swept away by Luke, I can't help but feel (sorry, saddened, sympathy) for these 20 women on the show. Most of these women are over 200 pounds, and they have severe issues that center around their weight. These women are beautiful women. They have great jobs, they are funny, they are caring, they have big hearts. BUT, they don't give themselves any credit because they are large. On the two episodes that have aired, these women make complete fools of themselves because they are so focused on their weight and the "I Never's." I've never been to prom because of my weight. I've never been kissed by a guy because of my weight. I've never had a boyfriend because of my weight. I've never dated a guy that's smaller than me. I've never been on a date because of my weight. And the list goes on and on.

I believe their "I Never's" have more to do with lack of confidence than how much they weight. Who wants to date a woman who verbally barfs her emotional issues on the first date?


What's even more embarrassing for these girls is that they tell all this to Luke after knowing him for less than an hour. They are so emotionally scarred that they are blubbering messes. They hate themselves, and they are so blinded by their weight that they can't see past that to who they really are.


I feel like I can relate to these women, so I don't want you to think I'm being insensitive. If you know me or my story at all, you know that I've lost a significant amount of weight over the years. I am 40 pounds smaller than I was four years ago, and I have a big goal of losing 50 more pounds. Through the years, I've had similar issues as these women. I hated myself. I hated my body. I hated men. I hated people who made fun of me. I hated clothes. I hated bathing suits. I hated life. I was just like these women.


But with or without losing the weight, I am a different person than I was several years ago, and the difference isn't because I'm a size 14 instead of the size 20 I used to be. The difference is because I have learned to like Shiloh. Actually, I love Shiloh. I love who I am. I know how to dress to make myself look good. I know who my friends are, and they love me for me. I know that not all men like a size 6. Some men do like a size 14 or 16 or 20. When push comes to shove, men are looking for a girl who loves herself, who has confidence in herself and who can take what she has been given and use it for the good of others, no matter if she weighs 120 pounds or 220 pounds.


I wish I could look each one of these young girls in the face and tell them that they are beautiful. If only they believed in themselves, then the men would come. Unfortunately, there are several girls who think that if Luke doesn't love them, then they are doomed to be single for the rest of their lives. That's so NOT true. If Luke doesn't love them, then that just means there is someone else out there for them. Luke isn't the only guy who loves a full figured woman.


Believe in yourself. Love yourself. Be confident in yourself. And love will find you, no matter how much you weigh.


Luke, don't forget to call me when your show is over. I know we'd make a great match!