A Dating Story

I moved back to Kearney from Oregon in August, 2002. It took me a little bit of time to adjust back into my old life, which also included making new friends and finding my place of belonging again. At this point in my life, I really hadn't dated anyone, nor had I even been on many dates. It wasn't that I didn't want to date, it was just that I hadn't found anyone worth dating.

One Sunday morning at church after the service was over, I had a guy come up to me and introduce himself. He was quite bold and told me he had seen me sitting alone and wanted to know if I was dating anyone. I replied no, to which he replied that he was interested in getting to know me and wanted to take me out to dinner. He seemed interesting enough, so I agreed to meet him at Perkins later that evening (it's Kearney, so Perkins was one of the best options). I arrived at Perkins on time, as did he. We settled into our booth to begin the date. It was a pleasant evening. He was easy to talk to, and he asked a lot of good questions. He wanted to know about my time in Oregon, what I was studying, what I wanted to do when I grow up, etc.

As dinner was coming to a close, he started digging in his bag and out came a camera. He asked if he could take a picture of me. I thought this was very odd, especially since we had just met eight hours earlier, but I didn't know what to say so I agreed. He came and sat beside me and did a self portrait of the two of us. He then wanted to go to Harmon Park to walk around the Rock Garden, so I told him I would meet him at the park.

At the park, he wanted to take more pictures, so I was a good sport and posed for a few more pictures. I still thought it was odd he was taking pictures of me on a first date, but I kept my thoughts to myself. He even stopped an older couple and asked them to take a picture of us. Then he asked me how old I was. I told him I was 21 and asked the same question back to him.

This is where the date became REALLY odd (if the picture taking wasn't odd enough). He refused to tell his age. He said age is just a number, and it shouldn't matter how old he is; he said if there's chemistry between us, then his age shouldn't come between us. On many aspects, I agree with that, but the fact that he refused to tell me made me suspicious of him. He finally told me he was in his 30's, but that's all he would say. In my head I was thinking that could make him as young as 30 (which was 9 years older than me) or as old as 39 (which was 18 years older than me). Nine years wasn't such a problem, but as a 21 year old, I didn't think my dad would approve of the age difference.

Then he asked if I drank. No, actually, I did not drink. He asked if I went to the bars. Yes, I did go to the bars every once in a while with my friends. He proceeded to preach at me about Christians and bars and how we should NEVER set foot in that place of sin, and we needed to set ourselves above all others. I got a 20 minute sermon on drinking. I'm not much of an arguing type, so I sat there and listened to his point, but after he was done speaking I told him I had heard enough and I was ready to go home.

But he wasn't ready to end our date. He was having a splendid time. I told him I had enjoyed myself up until he started preaching at me and refused to tell me his age. I told him age didn't matter to me that much, but the fact that he was refusing to disclose his real age made me suspicious of him and made me wonder why it was such a big secret. I also told him that I loved Jesus, and while I am a sinner, I am a forgiven sinner and he really didn't have a right to judge me because I went to the bar.

I thanked him for dinner and politely excused myself. He asked me on another date, but I told him I wasn't interested in another date.

Seven years has passed since that time, and I randomly see this guy every time I go back to Kearney. Guess where I see him? At the bar! I don't remember his name, and I don't know if he remember me. We never talk, and in fact, I avoid eye contact with him, but I can't help but chuckle to myself when I do see him. He must have had a change of heart concerning the bars.