Trouble on the Lightrail

Britt and I rode the lightrail downtown on New Year's Eve to meet our friend Jessica (pictures to come...). We had a good night and it was good to bring in 2010 with good friends and laughs. We trekked back to the lightrail station around 1 a.m., hoping to avoid the crowds.

However, the lightrail was pretty crowded. Even worse, the lightrail was pretty rowdy. There were people drinking from flasks, people yelling, people cussing, people practically falling over people, people telling stories, etc. Britt and I, completely sober and in control, were quietly sitting in the back of the lightrail people watching and laughing together as we recalled events from the night. We were by far the most "normal" people on the train and the quietest people on the train.

We were taking the lightrail all the way to the end of its course, so gradually people started to get off, which left Britt and I with an entire seat section to ourselves. She put her feet up on the seat across from her, and I did the same. About two minutes later, the "lady" (a recorded voice) who announces the stops said, "Please keep your feet off the seats." I didn't even hear it, as Britt and I were chatting. A minute later, the same announcement came over the speaker. "Please keep your feet off the seats." Britt laughed and said, "I wonder if she is talking to us?They've played the recording twice in a row." Britt took her feet off the seat and I replied, "I'm pretty sure our feet on the seats are the least of the trains problems. Look around; this train is full of drunks. We're the only normal ones on here."

As I said this, I realized the train had stopped, and it had not stopped at one of the regular stops. It had stopped mid-track between stations. The conductor came marching into the cab, and I was thinking to myself, "Uh oh, there must be a fight or something." The conductor marched right up to me and said in a very harsh voice, "You need to get your feet off the seats. There's still two more hours of the night to go!" The train became silent as everyone stared at me to see what I had done. I was confused as to what he meant by two hours left of the night, or what that even had to do with my feet on the seat. I obediently obliged his request, and the train began moving again. Gradually, the drunks began their yelling, stumbling and cussing. We continued to our stop without any more disruptions.

Apparently, it's OK to be a raging drunk, throw F-Bombs left and right and drink on the lightrail. But it is NOT OK to put your feet on the seats. Watch out: they are watching you (from somewhere).