Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene.
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood make civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whose midadventur'd piteous overthrows
Doth with their death doth bury their parents' strife.
Anyone who went to a public school in the U.S. has read this play (if you haven't, go read it now). It's a story of love, but it's also a story of fate, as the Chorus states. The theme throughout the play is how fate brought Romeo and Juliet together. Fate killed Romeo and Juliet. Fate brought the family together with their death.
The word FATE has always struck a nerve with me.
Fate: Destiny; inevitable course of events.
What will be will be. Nothing we can do can stop it. No matter what decision we make, it will happen as it should.
I've always scoffed at the idea of fate. Even while teaching this unit, I have blatantly said to my students that I do not believe in fate. Plain and simple. Romeo and Juliet could have CHOSEN to not be together. They could have chosen life instead of death. They could have chosen to move on, suck it up and find someone else. Right?
Yes, all those things are true, and I still don't know if I fully believe in that awful word: FATE. However, I think I do believe in it, the more I think about it.
For me, it comes to this: I believe in a God who is guiding my life. He knows what my life looks like 5, 10, or even 50 years down the road. He knows who I am going to marry. He knows how many children I am going to have. He knows who my friends will be. He knows the colors of my wedding. He knows how I will die. He knows how long I will teach Romeo and Juliet. He knows my anger, my joy, my frustration, my thoughts. He knows everything about me, and I believe that no matter what I do or how badly I screw up, my life is still going to end up the way it is supposed to end up.
However, I also feel like I can alter my course a little bit. Is that where my disbelief in FATE stares me in the face? I can CHOOSE to sit in my home and never leave. If I did this, then I would never find someone to marry. I would, therefore, have no children if I don't meet a man. This would, of course, alter my career. It would alter my emotions. It would alter my friends. It would alter my blog (b/c I wouldn't have anything to blog about). If I did decide to stay in my house forever and never leave, wouldn't FATE still happen even if it was a different FATE than if I did leave my house?
The question I am struggling with is HOW MUCH DO I CONTROL MY FATE, MY DESTINY, MY LIFE? A lot or a little? As a person of faith, I am torn on that answer because in a way, God controls my life and my job is to follow him. If I choose not to follow him, then yes, my course will look different than it might otherwise, but that altered course still becomes my fate. If I walk hand in hand with God, then my course is inevitable and it will be what it will be, just as God planned. Either way, FATE happens.
I am tired of hearing people say, "If it's God plan it will happen. And if it's not meant to be, then it won't happen." How do they know that I can't play a role in making it happen if I want it to happen? Do I play a role in making it happen? There comes a time when I have to stop asking for advice from everyone under the sun and just do what I feel is right. I could ask 100 people for advice and get 100 different answers. And then what? I'm left more confused than before, and now I have to ask even more people to try to get some clarity. I could ask 100 people and get the same answer from 100 people, but until I make my own decision, those 100 different opinions only leave me restless, confused, and lacking clarity.
To go back to the dating analogy, I can sit on my sofa and never meet anyone. With that option, I do not get hurt. I am safe. No one can reject me. No one can call my ugly or boring or plain or rude or annoying. I can be me and like me! Or, I can go out and meet people. I can date. I can get hurt. I can put myself out there. I can be rejected. Yes, all those things can happen, but I can also control it a little bit. Rather than sit and wait and hope and stew and check my phone and check my email and wonder, I can make my voice heard. I can take a role in my FATE. I can be active in my FATE.
I don't want my FATE to alter just because I didn't do everything in my power to make it happen. Call it what you want: FATE, FAITH, FOOLISHNESS. I'm tired of just sitting here watching it go by without me.
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