Lord of the Flies

Even though I was back from Vegas on Sunday, I had a sub yesterday because I was participating in Challenge Day at my school. Challenge Day is a whole different story, but it's a fabulous day where students come together to cross the lines of race, bullying, family issues, etc. There were a lot of tears involved, and it helped open my eyes to some of the issues my students are facing.

Because I had a sub on Friday, I arrived at the school early yesterday morning to finalize sub plans for the day. Since nothing ever goes right, with two minutes to spare before reporting to Challenge Day, I ran upstairs to pick up my sub plans off the copier. Someone was printing 100 pages, front and back, and it was going to be ten minutes or longer before my plans would print. And then the printer shut down altogether.

So....I literally ran through the school (it's a big school) and found another printer that was not busy. That one wouldn't work either, so now I was late for Challenge Day and I didn't have sub plans printed. I ran back to my room, put a sticky note on the computer that my sub plans were on the screen and headed off to CD.

Between 1st and 2nd hour, I ran to my room to check on my kids, to say hi, and to make sure the sub was doing OK. I ran into about five students along the way who told me my sub never showed up. Panic began to rise in my throat. When I arrived to my room, it was empty save a note on the board, written by one of my most trusted students: Dear Administration, I am extremely disappointed in your lack to find us a sub for the day. If you can't even do your job correctly, how can you manage to run a school? This was the biggest waste of time. I'm outta here. Ryan.

He's an idiot for leaving his name! I erased the board and called down to the office.

Me: Lisa, my sub never showed up today.
Lisa: Ummm, we've been notified. Did you know you were supposed to call in your own sub for today?
Me: WHAT?!?!?! No, I had no idea. I thought Jeni called in my sub for today. Oh my goodness, I am soooooooo sorry.
Lisa: A sub has now been called, who should be arriving in the next ten minutes or so.

The whole sub situation is also a different story for a different day, but it was completely my fault that the sub didn't show. I felt stupid. Anyway, the sub arrived and the rest of the day went without a hitch.

Upon arriving to school this morning, I heard the ENTIRE story, and it still makes my blood boil. I was so angry this morning after hearing what happened with my 1st hour class, I was shaking. It took everything in my body to control myself.

The kids sat for about 15 minutes waiting for the sub to arrive. Once they realized that no one was coming, they decided, as any normal kids would do, that they were going to have some fun. Mind you, these are 11th graders. These are kids who should know better. These are kids I trusted. They first started coloring (with my crayons) on the desks. I found a penis, some cuss words and many other drawings upon my return. They then decided to break all my crayons in half and throw them all over the floor. Then they started ripping up papers and scattering those all over the floor. Books were thrown all over. After about 15 more minutes of destroying my room, one girl decided she better call the office and notify someone.

Well, seeing as how these are logical kids, they knew that if administration came down after 30 minutes of being alone, and if administration saw the destruction of the room, they MIGHT get in trouble. They didn't want to get in trouble, so they had to stop this girl from calling someone for help. They disconnected the phone cord from the phone so that she couldn't make the call. They then tossed the cord from person to person playing keep away from the girl who was trying to help.

She then decided to go get a teacher. The other student shut the door and blocked her so she couldn't leave. They started pushing her away. They started bullying her. They started calling her names. They started throwing things at her. Somehow she managed to escape the room with five minutes left of class. She ran down the hall and got a teacher, who came into the room and settled everyone down. He called Lisa, who then called a sub.

In the meantime, an AP came down to cover the class until the sub could arrive. He saw Ryan's note on the board, much to my horror.

So, you see, I'm sure you can imagine why I was so angry this morning. I lectured these kids for ten minutes this morning on how disappointed I was in them. How I thought I could trust my students, but they failed me. How some of my most trusted kids, the kids who I had on the "ask these students for help if you need help" list, how they had lost all my trust. How embarrassed I was that they acted like the kids in Lord of the Flies. How I had to apologize to the AP for the way my students had acted. How I was mortified to find a note on the board yelling at administration for failing when in fact, it was MY fault that a sub didn't show up. I went on and on and on. I ripped them up one side and down the other. I finally said, "I don't even want to talk to you anymore, I am so disgusted with you. If there is EVER a time when I do not show up, or a sub does not show you, you better get your ass to that phone and make a call to the office. I am so disappointed that I can't even look at you right now. I'm going to sit at my desk, and you have the rest of the hour to work. Whatever you don't finish is homework."

I sat down, and not a single student said a peep for the rest of the hour.

Once the bell rang, I called Ryan over to talk about his nice little note. I told him he was one of my most trusted students and he had let me down. I once again explained that administration had nothing to do with the lack of a sub, and I asked him if he would ever write me a note such as he had. He said no, he would never have written a note to me like that. I said, "Then you have no right writing a note when you know nothing about the situation. You made yourself look like a fool, and you made me look like a fool. I had to personally apologize to the AP for your note. You THOUGHT you knew the facts, but you were 100 percent off from the actual truth, and I hope you apologize to Mr. B for what you had to say."

Mr. B ran into Ryan after school, and he had a similar talk with Ryan. Mr. B said, "As an athlete, you are a leader in this school. You let me down, and you let Ms. Nichols down."

Just thinking about this story and retelling it has made me angry again. I completely understand that if I was a student in that situation, I probably would have left the room to find a friend to hang out with. I don't blame them for not wanting to call someone. What I do blame them for is turning LOTF on me and treating the one girl who tried to help just like Piggy was treated.

I had to apoligize to Mr. B today for the way my students behaved. That was a very humbling situation.