I'm a Hero

This school year has been extremely stressful. Not only am I teaching a whole new curriculum that I've never taught (11th Grade World Literature), but my juniors actually care about school this year, so they are constantly coming in for assistance with their work. While I, of course, encourage that, it also means that I don't get any time during the school day. Every off period and even my lunch time is filled with kiddos asking for help.

I am also teaching a high risk 10th grade class, which means 10 of the 20 kids in that class have 0 credits, have failed every single class since entering high school, and are at a risk of dropping out of high school. The purpose of the class is to be small so I can work individually with these kids and hopefully get them involved and interested in school. Out of those 10 kids, only two are failing English right now, which is a huge success! This class, however, is also very stressful, as you can imagine. All eyes are on me to see if I can turn these kids around.

On top of all that, at least half of my students are going through a bunch of crap at home, and I often feel like I carry their burdens on my shoulders. I have kids who can't afford lunch, so I sometimes offer my snacks to them so they aren't hungry. I have kids who are addicted to drugs. Kids who come to school wasted. Kids who have children. Kids who come from divorced home. Kids who are in jail. Kids who are in car accidents. They have no idea how much I worry for them all the time.

Not that I look for words of encouragement from my students, but they have no idea what I put up with and go through on a daily basis. That's why the other day when a kid did praise me, I was almost brought to tears. My students, Ryan, was working beside me on his grammar while I tutored a freshman boy on his essay. This freshman was a bit slow, so it took extra patience to deal with him. His essay was atrocious, so it took over 30 minutes to edit and help this boy write a presentable paper to turn in. I had to repeat myself about 3 times for each thing I said, and I had to write word for word what this kid needed to do to improve his paper. It was like watching a car accident.

After this freshman left, Ryan looked at me and said, "Holy cow, Ms. Nichols. I had no idea what you put up with on a daily basis. You are my hero. I have a whole new respect for you right now. I don't know how you do it."

My reply: "Now you know why I'm cranky sometimes."

He said, "Now I know why you're cranky sometimes."

It meant a lot to hear those words, though. I told some ladies in my office, and one of them told me to make sure I documented it so when I was having a bad day, I could go back and look at it. That's what I'm doing right now. Thanks, Ryan, for your kind words.