KMart

During my first year of coaching Lacrosse, I showed up to our annual LAX banquet an entire hour early. I don't quite know why I did that, but I figured they might need some help setting up or something. I didn't realize it was going to be awkward.

Nonetheless, I showed up an hour early and was able to hear the parents talk. At one point, I heard the President of the Booster Club say, "Oh no! We didn't get a gift for the coaches. Can someone run to Target to get me some Gift Cards?!?!?!" A mother quickly stepped in and said she'd do it.

I wasn't expecting a gift at all, so that got me a little excited. I thought, "Oh,  how nice. A $20 GC from Target will be nice."

After receiving my gift at the end of the banquet, I was surprised to find a GC for $75! It wasn't to Target, though, sadly, but it was to Chili's/Maggiano's/Olive Garden/Macaroni Grill. I treated Shannon, Jeff, and Case to dinner one night and enjoyed the GC.

Last year, the girls made a giant blanket with our team picture on it, which is pretty cool. I also got a $50 GC to Dick's Sporting Goods, where was got myself a pair of sandals and a swim shirt.

Knowing what to expect this year, I was excited to see what my gift would be. I did my presentation of the girls, and then my two captains presented me with a card. I was so excited to open it. Finally, I had a chance to take a look. Inside was a $75 GC (that's a lot of money)! To......Kmart. That's right, Kmart.

I don't meant to seem ungrateful because as I said, that's a lot of money. But of all places, why Kmart? I have never shopped at Kmart a day in my life. Seriously. Luckily, there is a Kmart within a few miles of my house, so Josh and I hopped in the car and headed to Kmart to see how we could spend the money.

After an hour of walking through the store, we left with two bottles of Diet Mountain Dew and a bag of chips. Remaining balance: $69.

Not a single thing grabbed our attention. Nothing.

We decided to try Sears, which is affiliated with Kmart. We walked around Sears for some time and left empty handed.

We went to Kmart again a week later. Again, nothing. I looked at vacuums, thinking that might be a good use of the money. But I already have a decent vacuum and couldn't justify spending money on a new one. I needed ink cartridges for my printer, but of course, Kmart didn't have the kind I needed. We left again with nothing.

On the third try, Josh "agreed" to let me spend some of the money on him. We bought him a bike bag to put on his bike, a spare tube for the bike, and some other bike accessories.

On the fourth trip, we bought bug spray for camping.

On the fifth trip, we bought two pairs of sunglasses for Josh. This left $10 left.

We went back yesterday for our sixth try, and we bought a $2 needle for a ball pump. I still have $8 to try to spend.

At this rate, I'm never going to get this money spent. The even more awful news is I know Kmart like the back of my hand, and it's not pretty.

Josh's suggesting for next year: Hint to the girls during the season my favorite places to shop. Hopefully someone will pick up that I DON'T shop at Kmart. Ever!