Saying those three little words is almost as hard as anything else I've ever had to say. Why is that? Why is it so hard to trust? What is it about those words that makes us get a little uneasy?
As I was lying in bed last night drifting to sleep, I had a lot on my mind. I had been praying all day, asking the Lord to guide my life, to give me the wisdom to do what's right, to accept what the Lord had planned for my life. While in bed, I felt like the Lord was asking me to trust Him. I had a power struggle last night with the Lord. I WANT Him to be in control, but in order to do that, I have to trust Him and believe that he has my best interests at heart.
I finally said, "I trust you, Lord." What's interesting about that, though, is I felt like I had lost all control after saying those words. I was no longer in control of my situation. I had given all control to God by saying those words, and now I have to live by that. I guess that's what trust is all about: giving up control to the one whom you trust.
It's a little scary, I must admit. I don't mean to say that trusting God is scary because I know that ultimately His plan will succeed all other things. He's in control, whether I try to do it my way or not. I guess what I mean is it's a little scary to give up my part in the situation. I know that nothing I can do or say will change the outcome, but as humans, we like to think we play a role in our lives. What I'm learning more and more everyday is that yes, we do play a role and yes, we do make decisions on a daily basis that affect our lives, but the outcome is so much better, easier, less painful when we trust God and let His plan rule.
I will admit that even this morning I have tried to take the reigns back into my own hands. It's kind of like a tug of war with me and God. I don't mean it to be that way, but last night I gave it to God, and this morning I took it back. I am giving it back to God right now, but I'm sure in a little bit I'll try and take it back. It will be a power struggle for a while, I'll admit that. I don't like it that way, and I wish I could give it to God and never take it back from Him again, but I'm human. I have wants. I have desires. I have needs. I continue to think that I can do it by myself. But I can't. I know I can't. I know I don't want to.
I trust God with my life, and that's one of the hardest things, yet the simplest thing, I'll ever do.
1 comment:
Amen sister! One of my favorite expressions is "If God is your co-pilot, switch seats." This whole transition to teaching process has been a faith journey for Cindy and me, and we've been blown away by the doors The Lord has opened and the amazing people he has put in our path (including you). I'm not a "give testimony" kinda guy...but I spoke to our church's men's group this morning about my (well...Cindy and my) decision to follow God and pursue teaching. As I prepared for the talk and reflected on the past several years I began to tally all the amazing gifts from God...what a ride it has been. I recommend we all "Let go and let God"...we'll be amazed at the results.
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