A Story of Fleas

I have a new friend whom I've been hanging out with. I met him about three weeks ago, and since that time we've spent a lot of time talking on the phone and texting back and forth. Even so, after three short weeks, I feel like I have only scratched the surface of "knowing" him. I'm still learning his sense of humor and trying to figure him out.

Last night he sent me a text asking how my day was. I replied that my day was great, and asked him what he was up to. He wrote back and said he had fleas. The reaction you just had is probably only half of my reaction. I was horrified, disgusted and sick to my stomach. Not only was I turned off by the fact that he has fleas, but I found it so weird that he felt the need to tell me about it. Other thoughts running through my head:
-I cannot tell my friends about this.
-I don't know if I can hang out with him ever again.
-Am I being shallow if I stop hanging out with him because of fleas?
-I'm not perfect. I have my own faults.
-What if I got fleas from him when I was over at his house?
-Why in the world is he telling me this???

I literally was sick to my stomach wondering how I was going to handle this situation. I didn't even know what to say back, so I told him that was really odd and I didn't quite know what to think about it. I asked him how he got fleas. He said he got them on an airplane and he just couldn't get rid of them. He said they were biting him, he was really itching and they looked like tiny ants. I was speechless and disgusted. I told him I would make sure not to touch his hair, but in the back of my mind I was thinking I was never going to visit his place again.

Throughout our entire text conversation, I was praying to God that he was going to send me a, "I'm just joking" text. It never came. I was trying to figure out how I was going to end our friendship. Then he asked me if I was turned off by the fact that he has fleas. How do I respond to that question? "Yes, as a matter of fact, I am! I don't ever want to see you again." That was my thought, but I replied back, "Well, I can honestly say I've never dated a guy who had fleas." Again, I waited for that JUST KIDDING text that never came.

Then my phone rang and it was him. I contemplated not answering because I didn't want to talk about his fleas. I was still sick to my stomach and trying to figure out how to break the news to him that I never wanted to see him again. However, I did answer. He casually asked how my day was as if a conversation about fleas had never taken place.

After about five minutes of casual talking, he said, "So how do you feel about my fleas?"
I paused, and he started laughing.
"You don't really think I have fleas, do you?"
Relief flooded my entire body.
"Have you been playing a joke on me???" I asked.
"Of course I'm playing a joke on you. I don't actually have fleas, silly girl."
"Oh my goodness!!! I totally thought you had fleas, and I was so sickened by the thought."
As he laughed his head off, "So I really had you going, huh? This is great. I'm going to have so much fun with you. I can't believe you fell for my joke."

On one hand, relief washed over me and I felt like I could breathe again. On the other hand, I was embarrassed that I had fallen for his joke. We both laughed for a long time about it, and he made fun of me for about ten minutes.

He told me something else later that I totally believed, and once again he laughed at me for believing him. He told me I can't believe anything he says because he loves to joke around. I told him he's going to be like the boy who cried wolf. Pretty soon he's going to tell me something that I don't believe even though it IS true.

I'm still chuckling about it this morning, and I don't think you can fully understand the relief I felt when he told me he was joking with me. Now I know to beware on April Fools Day. I'm usually a pretty smart girl, but this time my gullibility was shining through!