Everyone likes to read a little bit of drama, right? I’ll be the first to admit that one of the reasons I read other people’s blogs is to see what is going on in their life. That’s why you read my blog, right? Hopefully my life thus far has not bored you because my life is relatively drama free most of the time. That’s not to say that a little excitement doesn’t creep into my life here and there, but for the most part, I lead a pretty simple life.
My dating life, especially, has always been drama free. How is it possible to have drama in that department when there’s no guy in that department? That is, up until recently. The story I am about to tell you has become quite comical to me and my friends. I’m flattered, to say the least, but I never expected the story to end the way it does.
Almost a year ago, I went to Cancun, Mexico, with my dear friends, Abby and Kari. On the airplane, I met a guy. We’ll call him A. A and I hit it off right away. We found out we lived and worked in the same area, so phone numbers were exchanged, and we even spent a small amount of time together in Mexico. Once back from Mexico, we started dating. We dated from November through January. One night I got a call from A. He said his ex-girlfriend wanted him back, and he didn’t know what he should do. He liked me and enjoyed spending time with me, BUT he had been with his ex for four years, he had loved her at one point, and he just couldn’t decide who he wanted to be with. I, being as understanding as possible, told him to take some time to make a decision and call me when he was ready to talk about it.
I never heard from him again. I went through a lot of emotions during that time. I had really liked A, I missed hanging out with him, and we had a lot of fun together. On the flip side, I was a little angry at him. I thought he was a coward for not manning up to his decision to obviously choosing his ex over me.
Four months went by. I deleted his number and forgot about him (for the most part). One day my phone rang at work. I didn’t recognize the number, so I answered. Much to my surprise, it was A. He missed me, he wanted to work on our relationship again, he was sorry, he had screwed up, was I willing to have dinner with him? I did have dinner with him. I was very honest with him and told him how I felt and where I stood. I told him if we started hanging out again, it wouldn’t be like it was before. I told him he had to earn my trust again.
We hung out for another two months, and then he disappeared again. No phone call, no explanation. He just vanished. This time wasn’t as hard to move on because I hadn’t allowed myself to get that close to him this time. Several months went by and I got a text from him. He asked how my bike ride was. I gave a friendly reply back. That was in June.
Two weeks ago, he called a left a message. He said he missed me and wanted to talk. He wanted to hear about school, see how I was doing and possibly hang out with me again. I was angry by this phone call. Who does he think he is, just calling when he feels like it? I didn’t call him back, but I did send him a text and asked him why he was calling me. He replied back that he missed me, I was a cool girl, he had screwed up, he wanted to hang out with me again, would I forgive him? I thought long and hard about what I wanted. I prayed a lot about my decision. Did I see myself with A? Did he deserve to be with me? Did I want to date A again? Did God want me to be with A? After a lot of thinking and praying, I decided that, no, I do not see myself with A. He had hurt me several times, and while I held no hard feelings toward him, I also didn’t owe him anything. He was a coward who couldn’t even call me to tell me he didn’t want to date. So I decided to ignore him.
Last week, I got a text from him that said, “So you’re not going to call me back, huh?” I felt I had to take care of this once and for all, so I texted back and said, “I’m sure you can understand why I’m not going to call. Timing has never been right for us. I wish you the best in everything you do.” No reply, so I was grateful the situation was over. But, two days ago, I got another text from him that said, “Well, the timing is right for me right now. Do you have a boyfriend?” By this time, I’m really annoyed at A. Why can’t he leave me alone? Doesn’t he understand that we’re not going to be together? Doesn’t he understand that he messed up? He has to realize that he lost me because of his poor decisions.
I sent him a text back that said, “I don’t have feelings for you anymore. I am dating someone and I’m very happy with him. I hope you’re happy as well.” I felt like I needed to be firm, but I also wanted to be friendly. While I am dating someone, I would have made this decison with or without that person in my life. Hopefully this time he got the message. As weird as this sounds, I am so happy with my decision, and I know that we weren’t meant to be together. God has given me a peace about this choice, and I feel quite proud to be the one making the decision this time. I won’t allow a guy to hurt me and come back when it’s convenient for HIM.
I wish A the best, and I continue to ask God to lead me to the right guy. I’ve learned a lot through this situation with A, and I continue to be in prayer about the man I am supposed to be with. As much as I desire to find a great guy, I will not compromise and be with just any regular guy. He has to be pretty spectacular to hang with my family and friends.
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